I started thinking about the time I played the sole character in a movie I wrote, “Running on Empty” and the director told me not to wear any make-up. The character I played was grieving deeply due to the sudden loss of her child and the last thing she cared about was her physical appearance. I don’t mean wearing make-up to seem like you’re not wearing any make-up, where they smooth out any imperfections. I mean hair scraped back and my face completely bare. She didn’t even want to hire a make up artist. “Whaaaaaat? No make up artist?” I was horrified. I had been suffering with sporadic skin abnormalities for a few years. My face typically was covered with thick make-up whenever I went out in public. I was so deeply insecure about my skin issues I even wore make-up to the gym which was gross and uncomfortable. I tried to shake it off but the closer it came to shooting day I became more and more anxious. I attempted to convince Elizabeth that it wasn’t a smart idea for my character to be make-up less, although I knew deep down inside she was right. I couldn’t understand why I kept bursting into tears sporadically and continually felt panicked. I’d do whatever needed to be done to reveal my character’s truth. I was an actor dammit!
That was after all what mattered... Right?
Then it hit me… I still wanted to look pretty. This would be forever etched onto the screen and I wanted to look good. “Oh God, what would people say?” I kept thinking over and over. Apparently I wasn’t the die hard actor I thought I was. I had to face some hard truths about how I saw myself and also why I wanted to be an actor in the first place. Was it just to get applause and hear people say “You looked great?” It wasn’t a surprise the industry favored the young and beautiful. I had always felt severely lacking in both departments. For as long as I can remember I compared myself to gorgeous, talented women and I felt I came up short, disliking myself intensely in the process.
I’d love to say after deep introspection it dawned on me I wanted to be an actor for more noble reasons but honestly when we started filming, I didn’t have a clue why I was doing it. I chose to arrive on set ready to work and commit to the experience, regardless.
AND OH WHAT AN EXPERIENCE IT WAS.
As days went on, I felt the layers of self doubt and insecurities peel away, then return with a bang and diminish once again. It was thrilling and terrifying but equally liberating. I felt incredibly vulnerable but I also felt free. I didn’t give a fuck about how I looked or what anyone thought. I loved every moment of being this woman, inside and out.
And in that moment I released myself from the desire to have people like what I do, what I look like or like me.
I am an actor. I like what I do. I like the way I look. And I like me.
That’s all that matters.